I've always been a sucker for musicians. So no surprise when I found out the ONE GUY at my meeting that I felt interested in was a musician. In fact, I wasn't totally sure I was digging on him until I saw him sing. It was a beautiful gospel song and his voice was utterly amazing. It triggered a part of me that said "yup, it's on". He came over and talked to me afterwards and handed me his number telling me I could use it if I needed anything. I responded "Oooooh, are you hitting on me?" My friend nudged me "Girl, don't say that!"
Okay, stop. See, it's been over fifteen years since I've met someone sober. But my mouth still functions like that of an inebriated person. Drunk, can't you just hear it? "Ooooh, are you hitting on me?" What the fuck is that? I'm glad I have people around me cause I'd just keep functioning like a drunk if I didn't get some guidance on how to be normal.
Anyway, I called the musician and the first red flag came up. He asked me if he could come over and pray for me. I dried RIGHT up. I'm just getting into the spiritual aspects of my recovery and due to the religious abuse of my childhood it gave me the heebie jeevies (jeebies? What is it?). I brushed this off, actually, I declined the prayer but said I would be okay to hang out.
I also remembered that he had told me about his webpage. I looked him up and all of his samples were praise to Jesus gospel songs. Not one Stevie Wonder. No Motown. No Lionel Richie covers. Disappointed!
Regardless, the next day he came over and we had a good old time. Laughing about stupid shit like why people don't say EBT after they say "Snap!" Eating pizza and talking about our past lives. I started to forget about the weird prayer offer and foggy pictures that looked like they were from the eighties on his web page and started to humanize him again. It was going well. So well that two days later we made plans to go to a sporting event.
This is pretty much where the story comes to a close. We went to the event and stopped at Taco Bell on the way. When we got there we laid out a blanket to watch the runners, but first he made a prayer offering for our Doritos Tacos. I felt awkward, but like I was a shitty person for feeling awkward. I certainly felt like I wasn't going to be able to get turned on by this guy ever again.
So I found out some things about myself, that's good. Also, a word of advice to guys. Praying doesn't make you look like a good guy when you aren't being considerate enough to ask if your company if it's okay.
Also, NOT HOT.
A writer living in Portland, OR looking to meet Chuck Palahniuk. Single mom to 2 boys, sales agent and lawyer-in-training.