These are especially helpful for newcomers.
1) The people are wearing white hats that look like the AA logo.
2) It's being held in a court room.
3) The first person who talks says "My story is like a lot of yours, I started shooting up at 7."
4) Your mom is there.
5) Halfway into someone's story, you realize the person they are referring to that slept with their husband is you. (Exit stage left)
6) There's no coffee.
7) A guy says to you, "Hey lady, wanna be my sponsor? I'm working on step 13 as we speak."
8) The meeting hall has a sign on the front that reads "Liquor Store". Dope, you did it again!
9) Everyone inside is older than Jack nuts and refers to themselves as "Old timers". Run!
10) There's alligators on tiny trampolines. Coordinated ones that can exist without food or water.
A writer living in Portland, OR looking to meet Chuck Palahniuk. Single mom to 2 boys, sales agent and lawyer-in-training.