I know there are lot of guys out there into big girls, but somehow when the ones I meet present themselves to me they always have to have a rhyming euphemism (i.e. muffin for the toughin' and cushion for the pushin') cause they can't just act like a normal guy that wants to go out with a normal girl. I had a guy tell me he needed some dough to make it grow. That's not even a good analogy because dough needs yeast to grow and once it is dough, it's done and nothing is growing anymore. Then there's this guy I met online who told me he needed some fat to go to bat and so now we're talkin' toddler level rhyming scheme, unrealistic baseball scenario and he somehow managed to make the word "fat" carry ten times it's own weight by his seemingly aggressive reliance on it as if he were going on a cross country road trip and it's his mandatory auxiliary tank. Can I just have a guy ask me out that doesn't make a sing-song alliteration as to why he would go out with a girl like me? For lack of a better rhyming scheme I need a guy to help me overcome the rest of you pricks.
A writer living in Portland, OR looking to meet Chuck Palahniuk. Single mom to 2 boys, sales agent and lawyer-in-training.