Is a good warm up for what I'm into. In case you aren't as schooled in the art of sex positions like I am, a duck Dy-Nasty is when you fart on a girl and it sounds like a duck call. I'm into newbies and oldies, into doobies and coldies. I'll teach you the ropes, also tie you up in them or I'll listen and learn while you burn whatever wax on my extremities. I'll do 69, 42 or 77. 77 is when you lie creepily behind someone with your arms over their shoulders like a zombie...nonconsensually. I also like Plan B, that's when the drunk girl your having sex with wakes up and discovers your not her boyfriend and you plan bail out the literal back door. I like Crotch Sharks, Meat Bales, Clam Rockets, Hooka Dab Scoopie Doops, Vag Snacks, Dusty Feathers, Glum cum drips, Spanklers, Dom Bites, Mini Butt Blasts, Pig Toots and Core Rippers just to name a few.
I can come over tonight and add in a couple dank spanks, that's when I spank you with the dried stem of a marijuana plant if you call soon. It's really a no-brainer...super into those as well!
A writer living in Portland, OR looking to meet Chuck Palahniuk. Single mom to 2 boys, sales agent and lawyer-in-training.