Just a tip...If a girl is not into you no amount of creeping up from behind is going to change that. For example, I'm not physically attracted to you cause I think you look like Arnold Swartznegger and Frankenstein had a baby so you try asking me out normal and we go on a date. During that date I decide I can't get past the fact that you look like Stonehenge with a face. Instead of taking my "I think it's best if we just be friends" as some kind of Tide challenge you need to just retreat back to Grayskull for a mini cause any idea that you might have of creeping up from behind or the side or the other side is not going to work. You can file an appeal, but I will prosecute you for being creepy. Don't turn my "no" into a sales objection and our non-relationship into a business transaction cause now any sex appeal you might have had from imagined confidence is stripped and we both know the only way you're going to get a girl is by force. AND you are willing to take the chance.
So I have enough stalkers at this point that I'm just not taking any more applications. At last I can look for my elusive hunk that plays the guitar and generally wants nothing to do with me. Hopefully, you are impressed that all these guys want me. I have like a million stalkers cause I'm that special. I need you to help me feel safe. And if I ever don't get what I want I can throw in your face that all these guys are just waiting to sleep with me. That's not a threat, I'm sorry if it sounded that way, it's just the reality. If you ever leave me I'll fuck ten guys in an hour, just sayin'.
So just a recap. Not accepting any more stalker apps. If you play the guitar and are ready to treat me like dog dirt, I'm open to taking your call.
A writer living in Portland, OR looking to meet Chuck Palahniuk. Single mom to 2 boys, sales agent and lawyer-in-training.