I'm your fantasy girl, you know the one in the erectile dysfunction commercial. No, not the Asian, the busty redhead or the sassy black chick. I'm the blonde that kind of agrees with what the other girls are saying and giggles without ever managing to close my mouth completely. Hi. Yup, just sitting here with my girlfriends next to a fireplace sipping white wine and talking about dicks as usual.
The thing is... when the commercial ends filming we are not talking about men's penises, like ever. I have four kids to pick up that go to three different schools. Anna, the Asian one, has a candle business that she is obsessed with. If the word candle was replaced by the word "penis" than you could definitely say she is obsessed with the size and also the scent, but contrary the only fucking thing she talks about is the Winter Paradise convention where a bunch of new merch is being introduced. Ashley, the redhead is borderline lesbian she hates her husband so much. He's obsessed with the size of his penis, not her. Like it's not tiring enough to go to work and act ecstatic about dick size to have to go home and the gig never ends! "How about from this angle, how's it look now?" For awhile she tried to fake excitement thinking maybe she was the one woman that didn't really give a shit about how big a guy is. We all did. Until one of us decided to speak up and say "Hey, does it really matter?" And bravely each one of us came out one after one to regail our stories about how sex with our average men was actually amazing and the most annoying part was their whining about not being big enough. Courtney, the sassy black one suggested to the director that men actually do the commercial because the emotions and reactions would be much more real and less contrived.
Anyway, my name is Megan, I'm looking for a special man in my life. I left my husband last year when he had an erection that lasted longer than 65 hours leaving him crippled from the waist down. When I say I'm looking for a huge dick, I'm not talking about your cock, I mean I'm looking for a man who constantly has better things to do. That's the kind of big dick most of us women sit around obsessing about.
A writer living in Portland, OR looking to meet Chuck Palahniuk. Single mom to 2 boys, sales agent and lawyer-in-training.