Heard there's four degrees of separation between you, me and Kevin Bacon so let's make like Bronson Pinchot and Mark Lynn-Baker and role play some cousin action. You: the cousin adopted out to Saudi Arabian royalty and me the Americanized bad boy. We discover we're cousins at study abroad and the tension from having to refrain is too much for us to ward off. We can be cousin Larry and Balki, evil cousins, we can play cheaper by the dozens of cousins as long as we're kissing cousins. Making out with a real cousin is gross, please don't answer this ad cousin Meredith (I know I'm making some good points here and since you've totally blocked me on your phone I'm hoping this gets through to you finally so we can continue the relationship we had before you closed mindedly went on ancestry dot com and figured out our dna is matched almost animo acid to amino acid). You know, the Olive Garden claims when you are there you're family and I've made out with every girl I took there so what's the big dif?! Diversity's for losers. Those eharmony folks are matched on 9 levels, we got thousands! Who else is gonna give you a liver when you've done drinking yourself into oblivion from your life choice to ignore your gut? These are some really good questions Meredith. Maybe in a few years we'll be like the Carpenters and be able to harmonize completely or the beach boys and be able to read each others minds. If you are reading this ad right now I'd say we are already in sync. That should be your answer right there. Come on, unblock me!
A writer living in Portland, OR looking to meet Chuck Palahniuk. Single mom to 2 boys, sales agent and lawyer-in-training.