I know there's a special lady out there for me somewhere, this one's for you...
I'm looking for 'special' as in 'special ops'. Looking for a woman who can start a fire five different ways, open a can with her teeth and isn't afraid to say "No officer you can't see our gun collections". Together we will build a fence around our love and declare ourselves sovereign. Looking for a lady that is HWP because, hell, how you gonna scale barbed wire fences with a cold pack if your full of pound cake and mutton? A romantic night for me would be like, say, shit hits the fan, there's a loud burst and suddenly shrapnel is comin at us from all sides. You're down on the floor loadin' up and I run outside to power up the truck and fifth wheel. Backing out of the house you see a few marshall's comin' out of the woods and you're just gunnin'. I tell you to hop in and you grab onto the door as I'm peeling out. You look over at me as another large explosion goes off in the distance and yell, "Baby, you bring that heat and I'll do the cookin'". You smack one on me right there and I'm tryin' to steer, but you know, you get the idea. Must not be opposed to warming yourself inside the recently slaughtered carcass of a bison if needs be.
We can meet in a public place, if you prefer, but I'll tell you right now you should be much more afraid of "other forces" out there than meetin' with a guy like me in private. I promise I won't declare a national crisis and round ya up naked into a "transitional shelter" where I'll force ya to work and starve to death. That is a guarantee. I got a good feelin' about this so here goes nothin' and I'll await your correspondence. Big Mike