Hi Boo's, my name is La Tish and I been crushin' it since hole 1 and I ain't talkin' bout golf honey. Last man I called boo had a boo'ze prolem and he'd show up to da pool like Freddie Krueger and shit. People be like yo man all went Friday the 13th at the baby shower girl, it's time to end that nightmare and move to a new street before ya got some real casualties yo. Did I mention I'm real? Yeah, 100%. Also, did I mention I KEEP it real? Yeah. I keep it so real that you can draw a marker on my face and it turns purple like a twenty dollar bill at the .99 cent store. The man of my dreams is not riding on his overdraft account with Coinstar, knowhati'msayin'? I'm lookin' for a tall stack of coins to take a dip in, maybe even swim laps. There's a lot more to know about me, I got lots of opinions and I'll give em to you. Please don't make me give you an opinion about your momma (and her controlling nature), your job at McD's or your old rattler you pick me up in. I'm lookin' for the Bill Gates of first dates so come on hustler, show me.
Hello, ladies and germs my name is Grandma Donna. Long time reader, new contributor. Thought I'd dust off the old rug and get out to meetcha. Bought this rug years ago at a fancy boutique. It was beautiful, dense and frankly very useful. Used to clean it regularly and throw it up on the line to spank down with a wooden spoon. As time went by though I had a few kids and the rug got stomped down with all the traffic. For awhile it was being used as a dog bed and eventually we used it as a protective cover for some antiques that we rolled up in it and stowed away. My husband died last year and I did a full house clean up. Found the rug, shook it out and had some professionals come out and do the once over. Now it's back to looking dense, if not brand new. Thought I'd extend an olive branch to some gents (Scooter boot, here's lookin' at you honey) and have you over for a little picnic on my rug.
P.S. You don't have to call me grandma