This is Scoot R. Bootoir comin' through loud and proud. Mystery is gone, I'm half broke and single as a kraft cheese slice. I like my toast with the crust on, coffee black (full leaded like I'm drinkin outta a gasoline nozzle) and my ladies on all two's (Meanin' no dogs allowed woof..woof..bye!) If'nyer thinkin' I'm gonna pay yer meal ticket you can close this page right now and mark it for deletion. If you show up thinkin' I'm gonna just sign a pre-nup, well, may as well crunch that puppy up like an accordian and set it on fire. I like dancin' with Mary Jane on occasion, but you may cut in line if you ask kindly. I got a boot on my right foot from burnin the midnight oil with a dirty thirty a keystone light and hanging with my good pal Ernest "Cock Butter" McClean. The boot was an instant hit at the factory and for awhile when I was driving forklift the guys started callin' me Scooter Boot. Least that's how I remember it. Got a collie named Gassie and a goat named Paycheck. That's me in a nutshell, now why don't you go ahead and tell old Scoot a tale or two...
A writer living in Portland, OR looking to meet Chuck Palahniuk. Single mom to 2 boys, sales agent and lawyer-in-training.